5 ways to elevate your gratitude, starting today
Here’s a question that popped into my brain at the moment that I decided I should write a blog on gratitude.
“Is discontentment the opposite of gratitude?”
And a follow up question of
“Is it possible to not feel content if you are completely grateful for everything?”
*sips coffee and ponders his own questions* *time passes* *finishes coffee*
Pretty much and No.
Those are my two answers to the questions, respectively.
I don’t think that discontentment is the exact opposite of gratitude but they do not go hand-in-hand in any way at all.
They go whatever the opposite of hand-in-hand is, like foot-in-armpit or something.
And secondly, is it possible to not feel content if you are completely grateful? No.
I think that by achieving a state of complete gratitude HAS to bring out contentment in any person, I don’t see how it wouldn’t.
I think the world has it slightly wrong, so many people are chasing happiness and what they should be chasing is gratitude.
But what is gratitude really?
What gratitude is, really.
If I told you that your life was pretty close to perfect right now you’d probably
- Want to punch me in the face
- Tell me I was wrong
- Be slightly unwilling to read on in order for me to put my argument forwards
I am right though.
Your life is pretty close to perfect.
Give me a chance and I’ll get you on board with the idea.
If you ever see footage of people being saved from natural disasters, accidents, or fires etc then they are filled with an overwhelming sense of happiness.
People who perhaps don’t even know where their next meal or drink is coming from and perhaps have lost all their worldly possessions are happy, nay ecstatic.
You will never meet a happier, more grateful person on earth than someone who has lost everything yet still has their life.
This is gratitude at its purest and most concentrated form.
So when I say your life is pretty close to perfect hopefully you won’t find it so audacious. This is all about perspective.
And yes, granted it’s easier to be grateful when you’ve got nothing but imagine if you carried that level of gratitude around all the time.
Everyday gratitude
I genuinely wish gratitude was a pillar of modern society but, sadly, the truth is that gratitude isn’t even a single stone in the foundations of a pillar of our society, let alone a pillar itself.
For whatever reasons, society/social media/celebrity culture etc, modern society is essentially about never being allowed to be 100% happy with where you are right here and right now.
All of the biggest companies in the world would stop making money if everyone turned around and decided they were happy with everything they had.
The motivation of most iPhone users to get the new iPhone is purely because they want to be seen to have the new iPhone. Most of them don’t know or don’t care about any new features. They just want people to know they have the 12 rather than the 11.
Perfect modern day gratitude comes from reversing the trend for yourself. It’s about looking at yourself in the mirror (metaphorically and/or literally) and saying to yourself, candidly, that you are content with everything in your life — how you look, what you’re doing, what you own — everything.
Elevating your gratitude
So I’ve gone through the full lecture on what gratitude is and why it is important so what about how to actually feel more grateful.
Well as promised in the title here are 5 ways in which you can elevate your gratitude.
1) Gratitude Lists
It’s very, very easy to forget how important things are to us.
Whether this is people, having a home, the fact you weren’t born in war-torn Bosnia etc.
It’s just as easy to then take things for granted, as soon as we do this we are not grateful for them at all.
Creating a gratitude list and committing to reading and adding to it every day is a surefire remedy for exactly this.
Don’t worry, it’s easy.
- Take your smartphone and open your “notes” app (or use a piece of paper if you prefer)
- Write down 5 things that you are grateful for in your life. (Can be anything from the obvious, like having a partner, down to the forgotten things, like having running water)
- Read through the list in full.
- Set a reminder on your phone to repeat this task at the same time every day.
- Once you’re a month or so in you can drop it down to just a single item added to the list, provided that you’re still reading through the list every day.
2) Being present
With our phones, the whole world and pretty much all of its knowledge is now at our fingertips and just seconds away (as is mindlessly scrolling through Instagram).
Even when we’re eating our meals, watching films with our loved ones or out in nature the temptation is ALWAYS there.
“Oh, I’ll just take a quick photo of this valley”
Oh look, a Facebook notification about James’ birthday, better wish him a happy birthday, oh look, I’m scrolling through Facebook instead of enjoying my countryside walk.
It’s SO easily done, I’d argue that it is so habitual to some that it takes quite a conscious effort to NOT have your phone out always.
Putting the phone down/away and concentrating on being truly present in these moments in day to day life is very grounding. It forces us to reconnect with “real” life and more importantly those people around us.
3) Complain less
“Oh my god, what the hell? I asked for almond milk in my latte, not soy milk!”
First of all don’t be the sort of person that says this (unless you have a soy allergy)
But more importantly understand that complaining is the ultimate non-grateful thing to do.
There is a time and place to complain about things but the time definitely isn’t all the time.
I don’t want you to be a doormat, if someone or something needs to be put to rights because they’ve crossed a boundary with you then you go and complain.
However if you find yourself about to complain about something ask yourself “is there any consequence to this whatsoever?”
And by that I mean, does this thing that’s happened actually have any bearing on you and your life at all? 90+% of the time the answer will be no.
Don’t sweat the small stuff!
4) Taking more “you” time
Most people’s lives are pretty hectic, yours probably isn’t any different.
The main reason or excuse that people don’t do things is that they simply don’t have the time. They either are or feel “time-poor”.
We all have 24 hours in a day but some people use them better than others.
Spend half an hour less scrolling, watch one less episode of whatever you’re bingeing, wake-up half an hour earlier.
But with this extra time you’ve found make sure you spend that as “you” time.
Switch your phone off, get away from everything and spend some quality time with yourself.
That can be taking a bath, meditating, or sitting, watching the sunset.
Do whatever you need to do to feel as if you’re grounding yourself fully, your appreciation of the simple things will benefit from this.
It might seem like an effort but I guarantee that you will not regret it.
5) Premeditation of evils
I’m advising that if you suffer from depression or severe anxiety that you perhaps give this one a miss.
This is an ancient Stoic technique which may seem like a bit too much however I guarantee it will work.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re really losing touch with what is important in your life then this is the exercise for you.
It could be argued that it isn’t for the faint of heart as it’s brutal but it really is for everyone.
1) Find some time and place where you will not be disturbed for 15 minutes
2) Sit comfortably with your eyes closed.
3) Spend a few minutes thinking about the things that are most important in your life — everything from the people you love, your pets, your house, your car etc.
4) Think about just how much all of those things mean to you.
Please take sometime to think about everything you love and hold dear.
Think about what everything means to you, how much you love, cherish or appreciate it.
And now for the hard part for you.
5) One by one think about losing it at all.
Think about each and every member of your family dying.
Think about losing your friends.
Your pets passing away.
The house you worked so hard for going up in flames.
The car you love being put in a car compactor.
Concentrate fully on what it would be like to lose absolutely everything that you have in your life.
Until you’re left with nothing but the clothes you’re wearing.
And then you can imagine losing them too.
Leaving you with just your life.
Just like the survivors of hurricanes and earthquakes have.
6) Open your eyes and realise just how lucky you are.
Why to use the premeditation of evils.
You’ve all heard the expression “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, right?
This exercise is the ultimate remedy knowing what you’ve got before it has gone.
By meditating on the loss of everything in your life you can remind yourself just how lucky you are to be in your situation.
You can firmly recognise everything that you own without going through the genuine heartache of really losing it all. This will make you so grateful to have it in the first place.
And hopefully it’ll stop you from lusting after the next big thing in life.
The conclusion on gratitude
I believe gratitude to be the path to take in order to be happy in your life.
It’s such a simple yet powerful thing to be aware of and you can start the changes today.
Hopefully I’ve shown you in this blog that there are many different ways to achieve this everyday gratitude.
Do let me know how you get on with these different techniques, I’d love to hear from you chris@gystcoaching.co.uk
Originally published at https://gystcoaching.co.uk on October 23, 2020.
